Goats Get Lactose Intolerance

Remember the old joke in which a teacher gives a class assignment to write about a pet peeve and some future delinquent writes about his pet, Peeve?

It's not very funny. I know.

Not funny. Just relevant. To me, at least. You can't imagine how many times I go on the Internet and find people dumb or oblivious or self-interested enough to proclaim that goat's milk is acceptable for people with lactose intolerance.

Here are some examples I pulled off of Google News, just this month.

FoodBizIntel: Meyenberg Goat Milk Products

Goat milk has a delicious, gourmet taste, is easily digested, and is a real milk alternative to lactose sensitivity.

Tabbouleh Chavrie Salad

Healthy tips about our all-natural cheese include goat cheese contains 30% less fat than sour cream and many cow’s milk cheese. It is gluten-free and is easily digestible for those who are lactose intolerant.

Editors' Picks: Automaker offers goat with purchase

Goat's milk, he added, "provides a nutritious alternative for the growing number of lactose-intolerant people ...

Milk, it was good for you as a kid, it is good for you as an adult

There is goat’s milk which has slightly different properties than cow’s milk. Those who are lactose intolerant may be able to drink goat’s milk.

Not just kidding around

Goat's milk contains a different protein base than cow's milk and so can often be tolerated by people who are lactose intolerant or have other digestive sensitivities, Heather said.

That would be no, no, no, no, and no.

Goat's milk has almost exactly as much lactose as cow's milk. Some people who are allergic to cow's milk can drink goat's milk because it contains a different set of proteins. But that is almost exactly opposite to what these nitwits claim.

How do I know that goat's milk will affect the lactose intolerant?

How about a lactose intolerant goat?

J Am Vet Med Assoc. 2000 Aug 1;217(3):372-5, 340.
Secondary lactose intolerance in a neonatal goat.

Weese JS, Kenney DG, O'Connor A.

Department of Clinical Studies, Veterinary Teaching Hospital, Ontario Veterinary College, University of Guelph, Canada.

A 2-week-old Toggenburg kid was evaluated for persistent diarrhea and poor body condition. The herd had high morbidity and mortality associated with diarrhea in neonatal kids. Lactose intolerance was diagnosed on the basis of results of a lactose tolerance test and glucose absorption test. Clinically normal herdmates were used as control animals. The kid responded to lactase supplementation. Cryptosporidium organisms were detected in feces of several affected kids during episodes of acute diarrhea. Lactose intolerance was presumed to have developed secondary to intestinal cryptosporidiosis.

In other words, this poor baby goat got an intestinal ailment, and developed secondary lactose intolerance, in exactly the same way that so many humans, especially infants and babies. do when their intestines are attacked by something like the "stomach flu," actually a gastrointestinal ailment. The cure was also exactly like that of a human: use lactase to digest the lactose and reduce the symptoms.

Everybody. Please stop saying that goat's milk is for people with lactose intolerance. That's not true. Even the goats know better.