Are We Not Lactards? No, We Are Human Beings

The American Dialect Society does an annual Word of the Year competition, to recognize coinages and new usages.

They're way out on the cutting edge most years, finding words that few of us have ever encountered in real life. As you can read in the press release for this year (a .pdf file), the Word of the Year is something I, at least, have never encountered.

In its 17th annual words of the year vote, the American Dialect Society voted “plutoed” as the word of the year, in a run-off against climate canary. To pluto is to demote or devalue someone or something, as happened to the former planet Pluto when the General Assembly of the International Astronomical Union decided Pluto no longer met its definition of a planet.

Yeah, that's going to catch on real quick. Astronomical puns are a big part of my life.

Wait, it gets worse. Their winner for most creative? Lactard.

Lactard? Yes, lactard. A person who is lactose intolerant. Oooh, pretty.

Um, note to the morons at the ADS: lactard is an insult. Check out one of the definitions at Urban Dictionary.

A derogatory term for one who is lactose intolerant combining the word retard with 'lactose'.

Person 1: "Uh, why is that girl drinking soymilk?"
Person 2: "Because she's a LACTARD".
Person 1: "HA HA!"

Ha and ha.

Here's a clue, folks. Anything that starts with the word "retard" isn't bestowing a benediction.

Not that it really matters much. Lactard is only slightly more likely to make it into the dictionary than "plutoed."

But if you think I don't have a sense of self-deprecating humor, why don't you try wearing the t-shirt. Sold by Kristen of Kristen's Lactose Intolerant Website, the page offers shirts, aprons, mugs, caps, and stickers, all proudly bearing "lactard."

To be honest, I thought her site was defunct since it hasn't been updated apparently in years, but the lactard goods page, hosted elsewhere, seems to be alive.

Lift your head high and proclaim to the world that you're a lactard.

Just don't let me catch you doing so.