43 Reasons to Mock Intelligent Design

Do you think your body was intelligently designed? Go to a mirror. Look at it. Naked. Are you telling me somebody did that on purpose?

Or milk drinking. Here's the way it's supposed to work. You get born. You drink breastmilk. You get weaned. End of milk-drinking. Your body turns off the lactase enzyme-making ability.

Every mammal works that way.

Except humans. Some humans have a mutated gene that never shuts down the lactase-making ability, so even adults can drink milk without symptoms of gas and diarrhea.

Well, maybe somebody pointed a finger and made that happen.

Uhn-uh. Scientists have discovered 43 separate variations of the lactose tolerance gene. You want to try to convince me we were deliberately designed forty-three separate times to do the same thing? And it still only reached 30% of the world's population?

No. That didn't happen. You can't believe in a designer that works that way. That belief mocks religion and faith and turns them into farce. No thinking human can accept that solution.

Here's one you can accept. Some few people have a random mutation of that gene. In a time of famine or the need to help a child with a dead mother, somebody suggests milking an animal and using that milk. It works. A life is saved. That person becomes healthy and grows and lives to become a parent. Now the gene is passed to the child. The child drinks good healthy animal milk. Better than beer or wine for vitamins and nutrients. One of the nutrients is calcium. Fewer mothers now die in childbirth. The milk drinkers are stronger and healthier than the non-milk drinkers. They become herders and domesticate more animals, giving them more meat and dairy byproducts. Milk drinking spreads. They meet members of other tribes and cultures who had a mutation of their own and find that together they make children who are more likely to survive. All over the world, these forty three separate little groups had good fortune. The random touch of evolution made the tiniest possible change: a signal that doesn't get sent out, nothing more. And that change is more valuable and will affect more history than all the intelligent design claptrap that the gullible and deluded and deliberately misleading can concoct and burble in their propaganda.

What kind of an intelligent designer would deliberately create the sort of people who can't think for themselves, can't understand those who do think, and can't help trashing the words of those who can?

Satan, maybe? After all, a baby was just born, a very special baby, a one-of-a-kind baby: namely the baby that makes the world's population 6,666,666,666. Was this baby intelligently designed? Was the number of the birth deliberate? Or was it just random chance, because at the rate births were piling up some mother had to be the one who got picked for a special Mother's Day assignment. She delivered.

Now we have a couple of years to wait for the baby to be weaned. Which side will be picked? The milk-drinker and their 43 varieties of mutation? Or the lactose intolerants and their connections deep into history, back through monkeys and lemurs and pangolins and platypuses. Evolution fast or evolution slow? Those are the choices, the only choices.

You want intelligent design, talk to you mothers and wish them a Happy Mothers Day. Their influence is real. And sometimes we mutate ourselves away from our mothers too. Change never stops. The lactase mutation is a dominant trait. Some day, maybe near, maybe far, someday all the humans on earth will be lactose tolerant.

And not a designer's face ever will be shown, except for Mom.

Happy Mother's Day everyone. And Father's Day is coming soon.