Don't Listen to Experts!

And today's entry in our continuing series on humorous press releases starts with the sentence:

The nation's leading health experts insist that we drink plenty of milk and eat dairy foods to protect our bones.

And then tells you to ignore all the nation's leading health experts and listen to...
health writer Michael Castleman.

Yes, exactly. It is always sound advice to ignore leading health experts. In fact, I'll go farther than that. It is always sound advice to ignore all leading experts. On everything.

Wait. I'm a leading expect. That means it's sound advice to ignore what I just said.

Please do so.