The Lactose Intolerance Clearinghouse Has Moved.

My old website can be found at I am no longer updating the site, so there will be dead links. The static information provided by me is still sound.

For quick offline reference, you can purchase Planet Lactose: The Best of the Blog as an ebook on or or or a whole lot of other places that Smashwords is suppose to distribute the book to. Almost 100,000 words on LI, allergies, milk products, milk-free products, and the genetics of intolerance, along with large helpings of the weirdness that is the Net.

I suffer the universal malady of spam and adbots, so I moderate comments here. That may mean you'll see a long lag before I remember to check the site and approve them. Despite the gap, you'll always get your say. I read every single one, and every legitimate one gets posted.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Why I Love the Internet

I broke the Internet. Do I win a prize?

OK, I do vanity searches on my name. It's not complete vanity on my part since sites that use my name are often sites that I have a professional interest in, but vanity searches are not the most misleading term in the universe.

Technorati used to be the leading blog search engine. It seems to have fallen off in recent months, becoming harder to use and navigate. I'm pretty sure that having only two hits with my name in them is fewer than accurate. Especially since neither of them points to my blog.

But one of the hits caught my eye. It was the August 28, 2007 posting to a blog about Tummy Tuck and Liposuction Therapy.

Not my specialty. Yet there I am, obviously me and not any of the other Steve Carper's in the world. (A good thing, judging by this R.I.P. Mr. Carper entry.)

No Thanks for the Mammary
The Journal Group Online - New York-based science fiction and tummy tuck and liposuction surgery fantasy writer Steve Carper plunged himself into earnest research after learning in 1978 that milk, dairy products and tummy tuck and liposuction surgery milk-laced food wouldn t agree with his tummy. He learned a lot more about the quaint

All together now. Huh?

There was a source:

This is the online version of a leading Philippine tabloid newspaper. Mostly in Tagalog. And the site's search engine is not working.

It's not fair to leave a man balanced on one toenail this way.

It wasn't until later, when I turned to Google Blog Search, that a ray of tagalogian light broke the spell. I found 47 hits for Steve Carper, mostly from this blog. And this wonderful post from April 19, 2007.
No Thanks for the Mammary
New York-based science fiction and fantasy writer Steve Carper plunged himself into earnest research after learning in 1978 that milk, dairy products and milk-laced food wouldn’t agree with his tummy. He learned a lot more about the quaint condition he suffers from. By 1996, he had turned up a volume, a 330-page straight-teller called Milk is Not for Everybody (Living with Lactose Intolerance) that is a joy to read.

The rest of the post by Dong Ampil de los Reyes is equally laudatory.

Obviously, the tummy tuck blogger finds (or steals) tummy references for his blog and cuts and pastes in tummy tuck and liposuction surgery every time the word tummy is mentioned. Leading to the sort of surrealism that I thought went only with meetings of the Kansas state school board.

Need I mention that de los Reyes is Filipino? The Journal must have picked up his blog entry - or maybe he's affiliated with it in some way: he also posts in both Tagalog and English - and the Tummy Tuckers (band name!) filched, er, referenced it in their own uniquely special way.

I couldn't be happier if I caught my name in a Mars blog. I love the Internet. It never stops entertaining and amazing and mystifying. And it is the greatest dissimulator of ignorance the world has ever known.* I have a function for life.

*But not from you, Dong Ampil de los Reyes. Your post is absolutely the best article on my book and work that I've ever seen. Thank you. I'm glad that I could have helped someone who gained so much from my efforts. You've made my day.

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