Tricked-Out Nog

This is so weird I had to share it.

Erin Hartigan wrote about hot winter drinks in the USA Weekend magazine supplement.

The first sentence ought to be enough to warn you:

"Hot booze hits you quicker and gets into every nerve," says David Wondrich, author of Imbibe!

So I really shouldn't have been surprised when I got down to "Milky drinks are warming but heavy." Heavy? Heavier than what? Heavier than... almond milk? Really? And heavier than cognac mixed with... Well, I'll let you read it for yourself. You wouldn't believe me.

"We create a guilt-free noggish drink, the Chai Almond Zoom," [cocktail caterer and bar consultant Christy] Pope says. It has cognac or rum plus chai tea and almond milk. "It's dairy-free but incorporates wintry spices, like cardamom and cinnamon, to really warm you." Faux-nogs also can be made with other flavors. "Any flavor you like to eat can become [or infuse] a liquid form," [Eben Freeman of New York City's Tailor restaurant and bar] says. "Add [a chunk of] fruitcake to cognac. Find your most unusual, personal food memory or preference and infuse it."

A step back to the planet of reality for a moment. Alcohol is not warming, it is faux-warming. It dilates the blood vessels, which makes you feel temporarily warmer but also has the effect of causing you to lose heat more quickly.

Cognac and rum are intoxicants. Adding almond milk to them instead of cow's milk doesn't lessen any guilt for any aftereffects.

I'm not a teetotaler, and I won't guilt-trip you for drinking alcohol. As long as it's done in moderation. And without ridiculous anti-scientific rationales for its consumption. And free of fruitcake.