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My old website can be found at

For quick offline reference, you can purchase Planet Lactose: The Best of the Blog as an ebook on or or or a whole lot of other places that Smashwords is suppose to distribute the book to. Almost 100,000 words on LI, allergies, milk products, milk-free products, and the genetics of intolerance, along with large helpings of the weirdness that is the Net.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Worst Case Result if You're Lactose Intolerant...

... you might have to go on reality television.

The horror! The horror!

Before you avert your eyes in sheer mortification, here's some helpful reassurance. It wasn't the lactose intolerance that was the problem. That was a mere trigger for the nutty food intolerances-are-everywhere idiocy that is consuming the U.K.

I take this from the most reliable possible source, Kim Gregory's article on

Yasmin Smith was legitimately diagnosed with lactose intolerance. Unfortunately, she assumed that if she felt better by removing one food from her diet, she would feel multiply so by wiping out all dairy. And wheat. And fish. And fast foods. And foods with preservatives and additives.

Her underlying problem was an eating disorder rather than any organic allergies.

Her cure was suitably drastic. She went on the reality show Supersize vs Superskinny and was forced to swap diets with a man who weighed 462 pounds (33 stone).

I have my doubts whether stuffing herself with cockle pizza and blood pudding managed to cure her of anything but a liking for cockle pizza and blood pudding. However, she also spent a week in a clinic and was sent home with a 12-week healthy eating program.

Yasmin gained back seven pounds and four inches around her stomach and hips. She said:

"I’ve learned not to fear food anymore. I feared food because I put all my worries of my intolerances from lactose all in one and combined them unnecessarily.

"It’s brilliant and means I can lead a normal life again."

Please don't fear food. Food intolerances and allergies can be challenging but should never be limiting, not with so many alternatives and substitutes on the market today. Yasmin's diet of fresh fruits, vegetables, and lean meat is the basis for a healthy diet but shouldn't be the whole of it as she had it. Moderation in all things except moderation. And reality television. Strict avoidance is the only hope.

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