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Sunday, February 22, 2009

The Lacky Award: Special Oscar Milk Edition

Since the biopic of gar rights activist Harvey Milk was released, you can't possibly imagine how many bad lactose intolerant puns I've have to endure.

So I'm going to help you.

Here are some of the worst that have appeared in newspapers by writers of little imagination across this once-great country of ours.


Lactose tolerant: this milk isn't sour

I think on Sunday fans of "Milk" are going to find out just how lactose intolerant Hollywood really is.

"Milk" -- To gain millions in advertising dollars, executives of struggling auto companies scheme to replace the traditional drink of a lactose-intolerant Indianapolis 500 winner with a Valvoline/STP mixture. Rating: One dipstick and one cookie.

I found I was lactose intolerant to this cinematic cheese!

ON PAPER, Milk sounds like a low-fat proposition. ... Surely the film should come with a product description that says watery, thin, but good for our collective constitution. ... Milk is the full-cream deal

And the winner of the Lacky Award goes to:

As with so many leaders, Milk’s legacy becomes immortalized when he faces the lactose intolerant, Twinkie chomping Dan White (Josh Brolin).

Ron and Leigh Martel, movie reviewers for The Friday Flyer, win the coveted award for embedding the overused pun in a sentence of such utter incoherence that Strunk & White gave it two thumbs down.

Thanks, Ron and Leigh. We're not sorry you couldn't be here for the ceremony.

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1 comment:

Cheryl said...

Ha Ha! Painful but funny. I often visit your Dairy or Non Dairy site, I only just realized you have a blog, how great.

Cheryl-The Garlic Press