The Lactose Intolerance Clearinghouse Has Moved.

My old website can be found at I am no longer updating the site, so there will be dead links. The static information provided by me is still sound.

For quick offline reference, you can purchase Planet Lactose: The Best of the Blog as an ebook on or or or a whole lot of other places that Smashwords is suppose to distribute the book to. Almost 100,000 words on LI, allergies, milk products, milk-free products, and the genetics of intolerance, along with large helpings of the weirdness that is the Net.

I suffer the universal malady of spam and adbots, so I moderate comments here. That may mean you'll see a long lag before I remember to check the site and approve them. Despite the gap, you'll always get your say. I read every single one, and every legitimate one gets posted.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

The Lacky Award: Special Oscar Milk Edition

Since the biopic of gar rights activist Harvey Milk was released, you can't possibly imagine how many bad lactose intolerant puns I've have to endure.

So I'm going to help you.

Here are some of the worst that have appeared in newspapers by writers of little imagination across this once-great country of ours.

Lactose tolerant: this milk isn't sour

I think on Sunday fans of "Milk" are going to find out just how lactose intolerant Hollywood really is.

"Milk" -- To gain millions in advertising dollars, executives of struggling auto companies scheme to replace the traditional drink of a lactose-intolerant Indianapolis 500 winner with a Valvoline/STP mixture. Rating: One dipstick and one cookie.

I found I was lactose intolerant to this cinematic cheese!

ON PAPER, Milk sounds like a low-fat proposition. ... Surely the film should come with a product description that says watery, thin, but good for our collective constitution. ... Milk is the full-cream deal

And the winner of the Lacky Award goes to:

As with so many leaders, Milk’s legacy becomes immortalized when he faces the lactose intolerant, Twinkie chomping Dan White (Josh Brolin).

Ron and Leigh Martel, movie reviewers for The Friday Flyer, win the coveted award for embedding the overused pun in a sentence of such utter incoherence that Strunk & White gave it two thumbs down.

Thanks, Ron and Leigh. We're not sorry you couldn't be here for the ceremony.

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1 comment:

Cheryl said...

Ha Ha! Painful but funny. I often visit your Dairy or Non Dairy site, I only just realized you have a blog, how great.

Cheryl-The Garlic Press