The Lactose Intolerance Clearinghouse Has Moved.

My old website can be found at I am no longer updating the site, so there will be dead links. The static information provided by me is still sound.

For quick offline reference, you can purchase Planet Lactose: The Best of the Blog as an ebook on or or or a whole lot of other places that Smashwords is suppose to distribute the book to. Almost 100,000 words on LI, allergies, milk products, milk-free products, and the genetics of intolerance, along with large helpings of the weirdness that is the Net.

I suffer the universal malady of spam and adbots, so I moderate comments here. That may mean you'll see a long lag before I remember to check the site and approve them. Despite the gap, you'll always get your say. I read every single one, and every legitimate one gets posted.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

The "Lactose Intolerant Lady" and the "Milk Guy"

The press release was titled Lactofree mends broken relationships in new campaign. Aaaaarrrggghhh! No, no, not the earworm! There it was, shrieking in my brain, a blast from a blissfully forgotten past now alive and kicking like a fast zombie movie villain.

The only way to kill it is to pass it along. Here goes.

How do you mend a broken relationship? You mean, "How Do You Mend A Broken Heart?" That bit of treacle was the Bee Gees' first number one hit in America (out of nine!), which I still hate even though the tune pops instant and unbidden into my mind. If there is any music worse than Bee Gees' disco, it's Bee Gees' sad ballads.

So how could Lactofree make such a horrible mistake in an advertising campaign? Because the song never made the charts at all in the UK! Ah, the Brits. Sometimes they show such good taste.

So if not broken hearts, Lactofree will attempt to mend the gulf between we the lactose intolerant and them the regular milk drinkers in a campaign that show the two sides trying to get into one another's' pants. Er, life.

Lactofree, the UK's only range of lactose free dairy products, is launching its new 2010 campaign with a theme focused on mending broken relationships with dairy.

Through above and below the line activity, "Dump the lactose, not the dairy", aims to reassure those with lactose intolerance that they can enjoy real dairy again with Lactofree.

In a series of advertisements breaking this month, Lactofree will be using an emotional tone to deliver its brand strategy. Facilitated through relationship interplay between the "Lactose Intolerant Lady" and the "Milk Guy" characters, Lactofree exposes a relationship breakdown that has occurred and shows the Milk Guy trying to get back into the Lactose Intolerant Lady's life.

The ads will inform lactose intolerant consumers that they can enjoy dairy favourites and benefits from dairy again without the side effects.

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